Sexism gave my wife Covid-19…
…and she might in turn give it to me. We’re hoping not. We’re doing all we can to avoid that.
But what does sexism have to do with it? Let me take you on an opinionated, sociological, philosophical journey.
ee-NUN-see-ate
During my first marriage, any time I was saying something that it was important for her to understand clearly, I would enunciate very deliberately. Have you ever seen a YouTube video by KM4ACK? That guy enunciates like a MFer. Yeah, I’d talk like that. Well almost like that. For me, even when over-enunciating, the word “on” still only has one vowel. When Jason says it, it sounds almost like he’s spelling it out. But I digress…
Anyway, I’d say something important to my 1st wife, & she’d get pissy and/or defensive, sometimes even whining “Why are you yelling at me?!” I’d explain, in the exact same tone, “I’m not yelling, I’m speaking up and ee-NUN-see-ate-ing so that you understand what I am saying.” OK, so this is not a YouTube video, or podcast. You’re reading this. But in your mind’s ear, you can hear what I mean.
But you also know people who only speak up and enunciate clearly when they are condescending to a child, or subordinate. And you know men who only speak up and enunciate when they’re criticizing (or scolding) a woman. That’s where the sexism starts.
You’ve also seen the thing where a male announcer speaks up, and clearly enunciates, and it’s fine. But if a female on the same newscast speaks in precisely the same manner, she’s criticized for being a harpy. That’s where the sexism digs in. The double standard. It’s rampant, pervasive, ubiquitous. And it’s partly why many women tend to speak in demure, gentle, soft tones. They’ve been trained by a sexist society that it’s off-putting to speak in a manner conducive to being understood the first goddamned time.
Smile
Have you heard Lullaby by Shawn Mullins?
I like that song, but I really don’t care for that one line. We’ve all heard it said. Most of us (at least people about my age) have probably said it. And many of us have also learned why it’s so utterly cringe to ever say that to a woman.
Point being, there is sexist, societal pressure on women to smile at people when talking to them. There is not as much, nor the same sort of pressure on men to do likewise. And that’s sexist bullshit.
Masks and Enunciation and Smiling
Wearing a mask for slowing the spread of viruses make it more difficult to convey a message as intended. They can’t watch your lips, so there’s no help there. Speech is slightly muffled, so you have to speak up a bit, and enunciate more deliberately, which women are conditioned to not do, as mentioned previously. They can’t see you smile, so they’ll perceive your speaking up and enunciating as harsh… which is bullshit.
Pretty Masks
The masks my wife wears are purportedly N95, but I don’t think it counts. If that material has been tested to meet the N95 rating, it was done with some contraption that seals all air/breath from sneaking around the sides. And they use ear-loops, not double head straps, so they don’t mess up one’s hair.
Multiple times, I have watched her (with my own eyes) pull her pretty black pleated ear-loop mask down to speak to a cashier or other employee at Home Depot or elsewhere. It makes me livid every time. Partly with her, mostly with society’s programming of her tone of voice and appearance. It’s bullshit.
Real N95 Masks
Anytime I’m going to be within 10 feet of people other than my wife, I wear a 3m 8210 N95 mask. It has two real straps that go around my head, holding it tightly to my face all the way around. Does it mess up my hair? Sure. I don’t fucking care. I need to not get Covid-19, so STFU. Does it have ugly printing on the front of it that “clashes with my outfit?” Yes. Don’t care. STFU.
And don’t even get me started on this useless piece of shit.
I hope she died a slow, agonizing death.
(Clarification: I’m sure the woman pictured above is just a model. Whoever wrote that review is whom I’m talking about.)
And as for those of you who don’t make sure your mask fits and stays covering your nose? Your nose is like your dick. It should not stick out over its covering. Fuck you straight to hell.
